The Next Step - Drama Checklist

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I'm honest with myself about who I am, what I believe and how I feel about people I meet who are very different from me on the surface.

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I rely on Drama Buster #1: honesty about my communication filters. I understand that my life experience and preferences may distort what I think I'm hearing, so I work hard to keep it chill, giving it my best to understand what's really being said.

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I realize that if I change my attitude, behavior and choice of words, then I could make my life a lot less stressful.

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I follow Drama Buster #2: Ears First. Mouth Second. As tough as it is sometimes, I won't interrupt or get defensive when I hear things that set me off. I count to 10 to keep my thoughts from spinning out of control. I simply hear what is being said and won't allow past experience to distort the message and escalate drama.

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I follow Drama Buster #3: Don't Assume. Ask. If I've chosen my friends well, then I know I can give them the benefit of the doubt that I'm just not understanding what they're trying to say. So I ask.

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I use the tips Les Brown offered:
1) "Someone's opinion of me does not have to become my reality."
2) "If I argue for my limitations, I get to keep them."

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I use Drama Buster #4: Keep it chill. I'm the one who looks calm, cool and confident when a disagreement threatens to escalate. Doing so has the opposite effect and lowers tension all around.

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I use Drama Buster #5: Own My Stuff. I know that admitting I'm wrong shows confidence and can diffuse conflict.

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I ask the other person what they're trying to tell me that I don't understand. I listen carefully to their response, giving it everything I've got to trust they might be right. Maybe I was seeing "ghosts". Past issues may be triggered because the issue seems similar, but it doesn't belong in my current conversation. Things aren't necessarily what I first imagined them to be.

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Before disagreement turns into battle, I recall Drama Buster #6: I recognize that the other person cares enough about me to stay in the conversation.

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I put into practice Drama Buster #7: Release offense. To keep things chill, I use phrases like, "You said (fill in the blank), but I still don't understand. Help me get it." I'm overcoming my fear of being hurt. Forgiving slights expresses courage to love.

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Since it takes time to stop seeing "ghosts" when in conflict, my fallback is Drama Buster #8: Humble myself. Lower my guard. Swallow my pride. Trust that what I think I see or hear may be wrong.

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I'm willing to change, grow and offer my friend the same opportunity I've been given. When things calm down, I explain how I've changed as a result of The Next Step and these Drama Busters.

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When thoughts trip my "I'm irritated" button, I back up and consider (a) is the offense really worth it, or (b) is it time to let go of the pain and intensity that result from holding a grudge? "Hakuna Matata!" No worries!

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I refuse to give into shame and self pity. They distort my view and make me run from people who are trying to help me. I apply Drama Buster #9: Ask for help. Listen to the truth. If I'm wrong, I admit it and move on.

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I'm willing to lay down my pride and fight hate with love.

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I'm fighting hard to overcome faulty communication filters and replace them with something good. I keep a happy tune in my head to ward off negative vibes.

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I shut down my negative emotions so I can hear what the other person is getting at. I especially block critical thoughts. I understand that criticism blocks love. It seeks superiority. I don't want that. I can't love someone whose ego I'm trying to squash.

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Why be negative? I focus on the beauty I see in the world. At all costs, I avoid criticism, sarcasm and mocking. I don't stick around to let anyone else put me down with that negativity either.

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When tempted to withdraw, spout off or be self protective, I give it everything I have to trust the other person's motives. I'm determined to accept that the other person is after my best interests.

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I rely heavily on Drama Buster #10: Forgive. I make peace with myself and others. I don't want the past to have a hold on my present and future. This is the fastest way to experience happiness and a sense of stability. I want that.